Fearless: Ch. 13

Helloo my lovely readers! See? I'm on time lol.

Anyhow , huge thank you to all the nice feedback on my latest chapters!

It means a lot, it's what keeps me going to be honest!

I hope you enjoy this chapter, and good luck on your exams!

xoxo, A.

twitter/ask : @AAliaxo

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I couldn't take anymore shit from Hadeel or anyone ells, she crossed the line.

I have to tell him about this.
I really just have to RIGHT NOW!

After A Couple Of Weeks...

.
.


April 18th , 2012.

Dear Diary,

Yes, I just turned 15 and still writing in my diary. It has been almost 4 months since I first talked to him , I don't believe in love but I think I'm falling for him. I've been talking to him non-stop ever since the new year , and he makes me feel special... Again, I don't believe in love specially not what he put me through. Yes, the Hadeel thing was a whole mix up... I don't think it should happen again right? I don't know. He said it won't... But I mean he never said that he loved me, is he just trying to be a gentlemen and not ruin it?? Or am I being too clingy? I should really just shut up now. Anyway, I can't believe that Ghaida's leaving in June! That's two months away! And America is too far away to travel there two often, it's like 12 hours or more... And the time difference! How am I gonna survive :( !  Ugh enshalla it won't be too long, and besides I have Renad and Reema right! Their just as awesome... And my cousins! I should look at the bright side, she's gonna have fun there!

.

.

You are probably confused right? Well, I told him about the Hadeel thing. And well, let's rewind and tell you what happened!

I have to tell him about this.

I really just have to RIGHT NOW!

I looked for my phone when I realized that I just threw it across the room from anger, oops I guess?  I rushed to my phone like a drug-addict just found their drug. I unlocked it, then opened BBM, and debated whether I should tell him or not.

Me (Typing): Hey your girl friend is bitch

No no that's just gonna confuse him.

Me: Hey.

My heart started beating so fast waiting for him to reply felt like a century.

Him: Hey! What's up?

Ugh.

Me: Well there's something.

Him: What?! Hayfa what's wrong!

Me: Is Hadeel your girlfriend?

Him: Wtf! No! 

Me: THEN WHY IS SHE SENDING ME SHIT ON ASK

Ok. that was too much.

I was mad.

I sent a capture of the questions.

Me: OTHER THAN THAT SHE ACTS BITCHY TO ME AT SCHOOL AND TELLS ME TO BACK OFF FROM YOU?  WTF

I mean I know i'm acting childish, but I was pissed, and also I had all this bottled up for too long, I blew up.

Him: Hayfa she's either understood me acting nice to her as "LOVE" or she's just making shit up!

Me: So you do talk to her!

Him: Yeah she came spoke to me on twitter (DMS) and then we became friends, just not so close friends! Theirs nothing between us!

Me: Then why is she doing this to me!

Him: I DONT KNOW!

Me: Tell her to stop then!

Him: i'm just not gonna talk to her.

Me: No ugh no!

Him: what!

Me: I don't know im sorry

Him: You shouldn't be sorry i'm gonna stop talking to that crazy one.

Me: but ughhh she pisses me off she even gives me dirty looks like wtf!

Him: Ma 3leek mnha! 5la9 ems7i al questions w hy ma tgdr tswi shy..

Me: Okay..

I felt relieved, seriously relieved. I mean I don't know.

I'm just happy pissed relieved then back to being pissed then happy!

I deleted the questions like he told me to.

Him: La t36enha wjh, w 5leek a7sn mnha la t76en rask b ras bzr. W I'm sorry she put you through that, almfro9' glti le mn zman! Walla malha da3i.

omg cuteness he feels bad 

Me: Yeah i guess.

I know i'm being cold, but I don't know. I don't want to seem too easy to get? No! I just want to seem not easy? I don't know how to explain. But yeah, It's not like i'm gonna act all normal with him after that right? I DON'T KNOW I'M WEIRD.

Later on the day, Ghaida, Renad, Reema and I went to eat at some restaurant.

I told them ALL about it, but it did feel kind of awkward to have Reema there because she's Majid's sister! But she doesn't know that I have a tiny crush on him! 

Majid and I are just friends, and I don't want to ruin it with a heart break.

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Fearless: Ch. 12

SO I'M BACK! I'm back after a really unsuspected break from writing lol.
I'm sorry I know I suck but I'm new to the whole blogging thing so please just bare with me!
Okay so we all have or had exams so I guessed that everyone is busy with studying!
Anyway!! Enough with my excuses and let's continue our story!

P.S.
Happy new year you guys! I hope you enjoy 2014 ;*

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I got dressed, then we went to my grandfather's house.
It was fun.

Yesterday was probably one the worst days EVER.
I woke up feeling pathetic for crying and feeling like shit...
I didn't even care enough to check my phone!

I went to the bathroom and took a very long warm shower to relax I guess...
I finished got dresses then faced the reality that I had to check my phone, I mean you have to check your phone to know what's going on in life right?

Anyway. Here's the notifications I had on my screen..

5 BBM
4 Twitter
1 Missed call.

BBM:
1. A broadcast from a friend.

2. My cousin asking if theirs something wrong.

3. Renad asking me if I'm going to lunch with them 
shit I forgot about that.

4. Ghaida checking up on me.

5. Majid saying "Hey" 
UGH HE'S SO COLD.

Twitter:
3 RTs
1 Fave

1 Missed Call:
Renad.

I didn't reply to anyone I just read from the outside..
I thought I'd check my ask.fm since I haven't checked it in a while..
And surprise...
5 Questions.

I kinda got scared because I dont usually get questions, I barely ever open it!

1. Km 3mrk?
- 14

2. Enti 9a7bat Ghaida?
- Ee?

The next three questions I read with my eyes filling up with tears.

3. Stop being such a bitch.
I didn't answer.

4. La ttmel7en 3nd Majid!!
Oh ok so i'm the tmeel7ing bitch now? I ignored the question.

5. HE'S MINE!
OKAY THAT'S IT I'M SHOWING HIM THIS!

I couldn't take anymore shit from Hadeel or anyone ells, she crossed the line.

I have to tell him about this.
I really just have to RIGHT NOW!

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Yes, I know very short chapter! I'm sorry! 
I'm gonna write very soon enshalla!

Tell me what you think on twitter and ask!
 Please??

Ask/Twitter: @AAliaxo

xoxo, A.

Fearless: Ch 11

Hadeel: w ee 9a7,

She came closer to and whispered something in my ear that just made my freeze in place.

WHAT DOES SHE WANT!

Hadeel: (whispering to Hayfa) b3de 3n Majid.

After she said that in my ear, I just froze in my place and she just coldly walked away.
How could she? How can she have the nerve to say that to me? I would NEVER ruin Majid's happiness even if SHE was his happiness! Ugh! This is SO not my day!
I walked back to our table, and my face and eyes spoke.

Ghaida: Shfeeh wjhk t9fg!

Renad: Bnt tklmy sh9ar shfeek!

Me: Hadeel happend.

Ghaida: ya leeeeeel omha

Renad: wsh 9ar 6yb

Me: Abd walla ma jt galt le b24ny b3di 3n majid!

Ghaida: wsh tbe!!!!'

Me: y3ni mn jd ana mara7 asawy shy le majid wla hy y3ni mnb 7agera!!!!!

Ghaida: You should tell him...

Me: NO! Then it'll cause even more problems!

Renad: A9ln ymkn huma mb m3 b39' 5lga.

Me: La must7eeeel...

~
The bell rang, off to class we go...

Ugh I just want to be home now, it's Wednesday, I want to have fun.
I try to be positive, and I will be, I shouldn't be let down because of anyone.

~

I went back home, my uncle and his wife were visiting, GREAT! NOT.
I opened the door and heard them in the guest's living room, I guess my mom heard me go in because she yelled my name in happiness. 

Mom: Hayfaaa t3ally 7bebe! Slmy 3la 5alk w zojtu!

Ugh seriously I just came from school, not my best day either!
I went to them, b3deen slmt w k4a..

Uncle Abdullah: Halla walla b hyoofty!!
As I came closer to kiss him on the cheek, he hugged me!
He's my favorite uncle to be honest, he is the youngest.
I got a bit shy, I am a very shy person...

Me: Ahleen!

After I greeted my uncle, I greeted his wife, she's nice...
She said the whole omg you grew up shit, NO SHIT SHERLOCK. ugh.

I excused my self saying I had to change, and went up to my room.

I jumped onto my bed.

I bursted into tears and stuffed my face in my pillow.

I was crying, a lot.

Not because I'm sensitive as fuck.

Nor cause I'm a total drama queen.

I cried because I was bottling up all these emotions, and well I burst into tears as a result.

I was overwhelmed , and it was not fun.

I felt like shit, and that was not fun either.

I smile everyday, laugh, seem happy, but they never see this other broken side of me.

Maybe not even you saw that side of me.

You see, I believe that behind every smile is a broken heart.

Yes, there are starving kids in other countries, people dying, and other very horrible stuff. I should be grateful, and I am. But people are not perfect, my best friend is leaving me, the guy I like loves a bitch that hates me, I think my grades are dropping, and I'm starving my self to have a good body image, I cry my self to sleep everyday, it's sad.

All these thoughts were floating around in my mind, I was judging my own self, and again it feels like shit. 

Then all of a sudden, I heard someone calling my name.

..: Hayfa! 

..: Hayfa goomi mn al39r nayma

Me: huh nmt?

I was so confused, one minute I was crying judging my self, the next I'm asleep?

Mama: ee, w b3d ma 3'yrty aluniform

I checked my phone, it was 8 o'clock , whoa I slept a lot.
And I saw a lot of pissed off texts from my cousin asking if i'm coming with my mom.

Mama: Yalla elbsi bnro7 bet jdk

Me: Okay..

I got dressed, then we went to my grandfather's house.
It was fun.

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I know, very late post. I'm SORRY :(
Anyway, I hope you LOVE it!
Please please please please please some feedback???

xoxo, Alia.

Ask and Twitter : AAliaxo
KIK: storyxo

Fearless: Ch. 10

I am so so so SO sorry! Yes, I am very bad at writing on time but I will try my best to do so.
And by the way, I would never just stop writing suddenly! I love writing, it's my hobby.
Anyway... I hope you guys enjoy it and think it was worth the wait!
I love you guys, and again sorry for the late post :c

xoxo, Alia!

p.s. some feedback on my ask would be amazing :c? *cough* ask.fm/aaliaxo *cough*
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We went back to class, and well the day ended with nothing new.

G H A I D A ' S  P . O . V

March 5th, 2012.

So today I decided to tell Hayfa since it's official, i'm going to the united states.

Me: Mama 5la9 aked y3ni bl 9eef ra7 nro7 america 5la9??
Mama: Eee 7bebty, enshalla akeed,
Me: y3ni agol le Hayfa?
Mama: Ewa lazm tgolen lha..
Me: Ya rbeeh uf
Mama: ws3y 9drk, ra7 tnbs6een hnak enshalla!
Me: Bs aby my friends!
Mama: Hnak fee ktheer nas s3odyeen, you'll be fine!!
Me: Enshalla...

~

I was really sad, I was excited to live overseas, but then I'm gonna miss everything here! I'm gonna miss my friends, family, everyone! And also I'm gonna miss the little things here...
I should really cheer up, but I have no idea how I should tell Hayfa!
Oh hey i'm gonna live in america for maybe three years, you know no big deal!
This sucks!

~

I went to school, then I saw Hayfa. She smiled then walked over to me.

Hayfa: Hallaaa wallaa 
Me: Halla bl zeeeen
She was in a good mood, I shouldn't ruin it.
Me: sh3ndna mrwgeen?
Hayfa: Abd wallaaa, yom al arb3a w weekend w k4a!
Me: Lazm nro7 mkan ya5y zhg mnb mn6ga bl beet!
Hayfa: Alyoom ma agdr bntjm3 3nd 5wally w 7alla!
Me: yooh ajl bro7 3nd Reema wla shy.

~

We went to class, and well we had class.
My english teacher forgot some stuff in her office, so she sent me to get them. 
On my way there, I saw Hadeel, I casually smiled and she smiled back. 
Then she stopped in front of me wanting to talk, what does she want!

Hadeel: Enty Ghaida 9a7?
Me: (I smiled tsleekyan) Ewa ana Ghaida!
Hadeel: Oh ana Hadeel! Bs daym ashufk w Rana daym t7ky le 3nk!
Oh so your not dating my cousin lol yeah right.
Me: Ahaaa ya zeenha, shufy ana mrsoola fa lazm aroo7, ashufk b3deen enshalla?
I smiled so she doesn't think I'm lying, honestly the teacher doesn't really care, but the convo was getting a bit awkward!
Hadeel: Oh asfa! Yalla bye.
She walked away, and I continued walking toward the teacher's office, I went it, got the stuff, then went back to class.

~

Break time

I HAVE to tell Hayfa and Renad... Reema already knows because well, she's family, literally. This is something I can't help, and isn't in my control, Hayfa and Renad are really understanding... I mean they will be happy for me! And I have to be positive because in life we live for the good, and I can make this into a good thing. People DREAM of living overseas, and I'm sad? I shouldn't be sad, I will have to make the best of this situation.

Hayfa and Renad were sitting in our table, and I walked to them with my food. I sat, they were talking about a girl or something I don't know.

Me: Hii shbaab
shit I am acting awkward.

Hayfa: Hey shabat
Renad: Okaaayyyy

I started acting weird, and they're starting to notice.

Hayfa: Shfeek?
Me: Haw ma feni shy
Renad: Wsh 3ndk?
Me: Ma 3ndi shy!

Ugh I have to tell them

Hayfa: Yalla spill it, wsh 3ndk!

Now I really have to tell them! They know somethings up.

Me: 3ndy 5br 5ays bs 7lo bs 5ays?
Hayfa and Renad: Wshu hw??
Me: Baba 9ar 3ndu sh3'la lazm ysweeha b America, w we all have to go...

Their faces changed 100%, I can see the mixed emotions in their eyes, they obviously don't know how to react.
But I understand. I didn't know how to react either.

Hayfa: hah?
Renad: omg.
Me: I know. Bs it's only 1 or 2 years, w ra7 njee bl ejazat wla entm tjoon, alzbda it's not that bad!
Hayfa: Bs ra7 nshtag lk!
Me: Please don't cry.
Renad: 6yb mta btro7on?
Me: Bl 9eef bnro7..
Hayfa: Bs noo!!!!!

I can see the tears filling their eyes. ugh no!!!

Me: La t97oon , 5la9 ha4a shy by9eer enshalla, w bs sana wla snteen bl ktheer, fa enshalla btkono b5eer, w fe Skype, w fe 6yarat, w fe BBM, w fe mlyon alf zg, I know i'm being a bitch right now, bs please imagine how I felt.

I didn't want to cry, but my voice started to crack, I WILL not be crying.

Hayfa: 5la9 we'll be fine, can we please change the subject?
Renad: Yalla it's only one year, it's fine, some people leave for 8 years!

Well this went better than I expected!

Me: Yes, thank you! please stay this positive.
Them: n7awl.

We started laughing for no reason.
Everyone tried to change the subject.
It's not a big deal.
Right?

H A Y F A ' S P . O . V

But? No? Why? She's my best friend she can't leave me! Yes, I have Renad, but Ghaida's closer.
Hayfa shut up and be positive, I should be happy for her, she should have fun! 
Yes, I am extremely sad, but as a good friend I should support her, and also she might be struggling a lot.

I went to buy a water bottle, and then, there she was; Hadeel.
Great, just great let's make things even more awkward.
She stared at me like she wanted to talk to me, smiling? 
I smiled back to be polite, then she came closer.
Shit, she wants to talk.

Hadeel: Um enty Hayfa 9a7?

Oh pretend like you don't know me bitch.
Two can play this game.

Me: Ewa, w enty?
Hadeel: Hadeel, Rana galt le 3nk!
I smiled, LIES. 
Me: Aha ya zenha hhhh
Hadeel: w ee 9a7,

She came closer to and whispered something in my ear that just made my freeze in place.

WHAT DOES SHE WANT!

Fearless: Ch. 9

Hi! I hope you enjoy this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it!

If you have any comments or suggestions for the next chapters I'm more than happy to read them!

And thank you for the amazing feedback <3

xoxo, Alia.

Ask/Twitter : AAliaxo
KIK: Storyxo
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I went to the bathroom (allah ykrmkm), and then went into one of the stalls to check my phone. Then I heard two girls going in.

Girl #1 : Omg lazm awreek aish gal
Girl #2: Yalla wreniiiiiii
Girl #1: Gal Hadoolty a7bk w mn zman 7abk ....

~

I just stopped hearing after that, and before I knew it I had a tear running down my face.

WHAT? Hadeel? H a d e e l? w mn zman 7abk b3d? y3ni akeed Majid? 

e4a mara t7bu w mdre aish mara7 t9eer twry 9a7batha aish galha wld thani 3'eru 9a7? Y3ni hy egalha 5aga 3leeh, akeed y7boon b39'! 

Why am I acting like this? Why am I tearing! 

I shouldn't care, because WE ARE FRIENDS, and you know what? It was my fault, and this is a good thing because I never wanted things to get to a boyfriend/girlfriend level, I just wanted a best friend that cares about me all the time, and if he could be that and be with Hadeel at the same time then FINE! 

It's for the best anyway!

Hadeel: Y5ty Rana hal ensan cuteness overload!

So the girl she's talking to is Rana? I didn't know they were good friends !

Rana: La y9eer 7beb al7ub k4ab bs!

Hadeel: Majid mara7 yk4b, b3deen e5tu akbr mnna b sana esmha Reema

Rana : Ee ha4i Ghaida's cousin

And how is that gonna help you?!?!!??!?!!?! I am getting frustrated !

Hadeel: Shftha hya w Renad b centeria gbl km yoom, kan wdy aslm bs 7set maly da3i

Rana: Taraha 6yba

Hadeel: Adri bs abe atgrb lha hy w 9a7batha

Rana: w leeh?

What does this bitch want now! Ughhhhhh

Hadeel: N9l7 al3alagat, w 3shan br9'u tgwy 3lagty m3 Majid!

Someone walked in then they quickly changed the subject and went out to their class.

I made sure they went out, so I if they saw me they'd know that I heard all that shit, and then they'll try to cover up for themselves.

How can people be this two-faced? This SICKENS ME!

I went as fast as I could back to class hoping i'm not too late.

You might think I'm over-reacting, shedding a tear over a guy that only sees me as a friend, and only a friend. He is a very good friend, one of the best actually, but what made me shed that tear was jealousy. It wasn't cause he didn't tell me, which I completely understand, but girls get jealous, and I was BURNING with jealousy. All these thoughts came into my head! Am I not pretty enough? Skinny enough? Cute enough? Nice enough? SEXY ENOUGH? Good enough? Yes may not be the answer to all, but these questions entering my mind was wrong.

I might get a bit off track here, but whatever.
You may not be the prettiest, the smartest, the tallest, the sexiest, the skinniest! But most importantly YOU ARE YOUR SELF! Yes, you, the reader! Most of the girls our age seem to forget that life is short, people make mistakes, people ARE NOT perfect! Even some of the greatest people do wrong in their life, and that's what makes it life, the mistakes! If you didn't do one mistake in your life, then you wouldn't have learned anything!

You shouldn't feel like that girl is prettier than you, or smarter, or skinnier, because if everyone was as pretty, smart, and skinny as she, maybe a less prettier maybe more taller girl is gonna be considered more beautiful, because she is not a copy of everyone ells ! I hope you understood what I mean!

You should be different, because that what makes you, YOU!

Anyway, back to the story.

I went back to class, the teacher asked me why I was late, I just lied and told her they were cleaning and I had to wait.

Later on in lunch, I told Ghaida and Renad what I heard in the bathroom.

Me: b3deen ja a7d w 3'yru alsalfa w 6l3u..
Ghaida: Y3ni wsh g9dha abe a9l7 al3lagat?
Renad: y3ni nb3d 3nha
Me: MA ADRY 
Ghaida: La mn jd wsh tbe 4y
Me: A3lm Majid wla maly da3y a5rb benhm?
Renad: Mdre a7s wraha bala
Ghaida: Bs lsa ma t5rben ben a7d w 7bebtu
Me: A9ln mb akeed hm m3 b39' 
I said and my voice cracked, it was obvious I was holding in a tear.
Yes, i'm a VERY emotional girl
Renad: Hayfa 7bebe, it's okay
Ghaida: 5la9 nroo7 Dubai w nws3 9drk tshufen muzaz
Me: bs abe Majid
Ghaida: wsh tben feeh 5ays ma gd shfteeh w hw twu gaym mn alnoom
Me: but he's perffff
Ghaida: agol bs i'm gonna throw up
Renad: 7ram she likes him
Me: A lot.
Renad: Ma 3leek your good friends with him it's gonna be okay
Me: I guess.

We went back to class, and well the day ended with nothing new.

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Fearless: Ch. 8

I haven't posted in like a week and I feel so bad.
Anyway since I seem to never have time to post, hopefully I will be posting every two days, or at least once a week.
I love you guys SO MUCH, and thank you so much for the good feedback it really does mean a lot to me <3

I hope you enjoy this chapter!

xoxo, Alia.

____________________________________________

Me: 6yb leeh Majid ma galy enha tje w ttmel7 3ndu
Ghaida: Mara7 ygoolk 6b3n
Me: ugh
Ghaida: Ma 3leek mnha, ma 36aha wjh a9ln
Me: 97, a9ln I don't care!

Really, I don't , I shouldn't anyway!

~

Anyway, I tried to forget about the whole Hadeel thing, and then Juju's cake came and we all sang "Happy Birthday to you Happy Birthday dear Juju Happy Birthday to you!" Her smile was from ear to ear as she saw the princess formed cake, I could tell she was the happiest person in the room, so innocent, so young, so happy! I know this might sound childish or selfish, or just stupid, but I was jealous of my little sister. Not because of her beautifully colored hair, or her pretty face, or her party, but I was jealous because she was young with no worries, the smallest things made her day, she was happy all the time, she is living her childhood. I really wish I had no worries, and that I had a pure soul of happiness, but I don't, and life is hard...

~

"Hayfaaa did you forget something?" Juju said smiling at me, "E7m my gift e7m" she said making a pouty face. "Ana? Ana ansa my little sister? T9dgeen 3ad nseet" I said jokingly waiting for a reaction, "Tmz7een 9a7?" Juju said acting "mad", I went up to my room and brought her gift in a juicy bag, I bought her a juicy charm bracelet with a ballerina charm, I thought it was cute specially since she loves to dance ballet. "Omg Hayfaaa a7bbbkkkkk" She said as she opened the gift, again she was the happiest , and that made me happy to be honest. "w ana akthr 7bebty" I said hugging her. 

The party ended and all the kids left, except for two kids, Ghaida and Renad. "Hayfa bga cake ju3ana!!" Said Renad, "Eee bga cake tben ajeb?" I replied "AJAL Y3NI BS2L 3N ALCAKE LEEH?" Renad yelled at me. "Wj3 hdy hdy 7seet w7sh" 
I went to bring the cake, and then I saw my phone lighting up so I checked it.
Oh yeah, Renad is sleeping over, Ghaida couldn't though.

2 Twitter notifications
3 BBM notifications

I checked twitter, nothing special.
I checked BBM, 1 BC , 1 message from Renad, 1 message from Majid.
~
Renad: PING!!!
Renad: Jebee wrg 3enab w coke plz
Hayfa: Yooh 6yb

~

Majid: Hey Pretty..
HE CALLED ME PRETTY HE'S FLIRTING HE TOTALLY LOVES ME NYAAAHAHAAHHAHAHA
Hayfa: Hiiii
Majid: What's up?
Hayfa: Renad's sleeping over and bossing me around :c
Majid: Leeh ma 3zmteni m3ha :(
Hayfa: La 3eeb =))
Majid: tfkeerk al3eeb bs bg3d asolf m3k we're just friends remember 3-|?
a7.. what did he mean by that.
Hayfa: Ajl al mara althanya t3al ma3 Ghaida
Majid: akeeeed ma 3leek =))

~

I brought the food to Renad, we watched a movie, if you consider listening to people while you text is watching a movie, then we slept. Renad left later on after we woke up.
~

Ghaida called me and she's acting a bit weird, is she not telling me something?

~

G H A I D A ' S   P O V

You're probably wondering why I'm acting odd with Hayfa, and why I didn't sleep over the other night. Well, this might explain everything for you.

~

Y E S T E R D A Y

"Mama 3adi anam 3nd Hayfa elyoom?" I asked my mom over the phone, "La 7bebty lazm trj3en albet alyom fe mw9'o3 lazm agolk hwa, w a9ln alswag bl6reeg." She said, "Aha okay," I said weirded out, "Yala bye." I said as I hung up. 

Me: Hayfa 7bebty enshalla mara thanya
Hayfa: Afa leeh?
Me: Alswag bl6reeg w shwy w yo9l
Hayfa: Amaa :((
Me: Yalla enshalla mara thanya!
Hayfa: Enshalla!

The driver came and picked me up, I went home,
Me: Mama w9lt albeet!
No response.

I went upstairs to my room, washed my face, wore my PJs, and then went to the living room.
There they were, my parents, and my siblings. I have two sisters, Sara the eldest sister, then Lulu. And then I have my brother, he's older than me by 4 years. 
Anyway,

Me: Alsalammu 3leekm.
I kissed my parent's foreheads then sat next to my brother.
Me: Wsh alsalfa?
I was getting scared, this isn't how my family normally acts!
Mama: 3ndna 5br kwys bs mu kwys b nfs al wgt..
We all started asking questions all at once.
Baba: Ra7 nroo7 America sana aw snteen 3shan 3ndi sh3'l hnak.

At that moment, I didn't know how to react. Should I be happy? Sad? Excited? Mad? I don't know. I just couldn't believe what I heard.
Of course all my siblings started questioning and stuff, and I was just there thinking.
This isn't something I control , I can't change this, I have to go with my family.
How am I gonna tell Hayfa, how am I gonna leave my friends and family, how am I gonna make friends there.
Am I gonna be a total outsider? "The Saudi" ? Am I gonna even make friends? How am I gonna survive a day without my best friends, how about with out anyone I know besides my parents and siblings?

All those thoughts flooded my mind, until it exploded and before I knew it I was in my room crying my eyes out. How did I get here without even knowing? I have no idea.
I was just there, crying, with a mind flooded with negative thoughts.

You might think i'm over reacting, maybe I am, but no one can escape their own thoughts and feelings.

~

Saturday, March 4th 2013.

H A Y F A ' S  P O V

So it's Tuesday morning, I hate mornings. I woke up, did my morning routine, got dressed, went to school.
There she was, Hadeel. I never noticed her before, but she was really pretty, I mean I could be prettier, but she was still pretty and attractive. The kind of girl that would attract guys? But not in a slutty way of course.

First period, boring.

Second period, B O R I N G.

Third period, I'm getting random pings weird.
Me: Miss, can I go to the bathroom?
Teacher: Yes, don't take too long.
Me: Yeah.

I went to the bathroom (allah ykrmkm), and then went into one of the stalls to check my phone. Then I heard two girls going in.

Girl #1 : Omg lazm awreek aish gal
Girl #2: Yalla wreniiiiiii
Girl #1: Gal Hadoolty a7bk w mn zman 7abk ....

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