Fearless: Ch 11

Hadeel: w ee 9a7,

She came closer to and whispered something in my ear that just made my freeze in place.

WHAT DOES SHE WANT!

Hadeel: (whispering to Hayfa) b3de 3n Majid.

After she said that in my ear, I just froze in my place and she just coldly walked away.
How could she? How can she have the nerve to say that to me? I would NEVER ruin Majid's happiness even if SHE was his happiness! Ugh! This is SO not my day!
I walked back to our table, and my face and eyes spoke.

Ghaida: Shfeeh wjhk t9fg!

Renad: Bnt tklmy sh9ar shfeek!

Me: Hadeel happend.

Ghaida: ya leeeeeel omha

Renad: wsh 9ar 6yb

Me: Abd walla ma jt galt le b24ny b3di 3n majid!

Ghaida: wsh tbe!!!!'

Me: y3ni mn jd ana mara7 asawy shy le majid wla hy y3ni mnb 7agera!!!!!

Ghaida: You should tell him...

Me: NO! Then it'll cause even more problems!

Renad: A9ln ymkn huma mb m3 b39' 5lga.

Me: La must7eeeel...

~
The bell rang, off to class we go...

Ugh I just want to be home now, it's Wednesday, I want to have fun.
I try to be positive, and I will be, I shouldn't be let down because of anyone.

~

I went back home, my uncle and his wife were visiting, GREAT! NOT.
I opened the door and heard them in the guest's living room, I guess my mom heard me go in because she yelled my name in happiness. 

Mom: Hayfaaa t3ally 7bebe! Slmy 3la 5alk w zojtu!

Ugh seriously I just came from school, not my best day either!
I went to them, b3deen slmt w k4a..

Uncle Abdullah: Halla walla b hyoofty!!
As I came closer to kiss him on the cheek, he hugged me!
He's my favorite uncle to be honest, he is the youngest.
I got a bit shy, I am a very shy person...

Me: Ahleen!

After I greeted my uncle, I greeted his wife, she's nice...
She said the whole omg you grew up shit, NO SHIT SHERLOCK. ugh.

I excused my self saying I had to change, and went up to my room.

I jumped onto my bed.

I bursted into tears and stuffed my face in my pillow.

I was crying, a lot.

Not because I'm sensitive as fuck.

Nor cause I'm a total drama queen.

I cried because I was bottling up all these emotions, and well I burst into tears as a result.

I was overwhelmed , and it was not fun.

I felt like shit, and that was not fun either.

I smile everyday, laugh, seem happy, but they never see this other broken side of me.

Maybe not even you saw that side of me.

You see, I believe that behind every smile is a broken heart.

Yes, there are starving kids in other countries, people dying, and other very horrible stuff. I should be grateful, and I am. But people are not perfect, my best friend is leaving me, the guy I like loves a bitch that hates me, I think my grades are dropping, and I'm starving my self to have a good body image, I cry my self to sleep everyday, it's sad.

All these thoughts were floating around in my mind, I was judging my own self, and again it feels like shit. 

Then all of a sudden, I heard someone calling my name.

..: Hayfa! 

..: Hayfa goomi mn al39r nayma

Me: huh nmt?

I was so confused, one minute I was crying judging my self, the next I'm asleep?

Mama: ee, w b3d ma 3'yrty aluniform

I checked my phone, it was 8 o'clock , whoa I slept a lot.
And I saw a lot of pissed off texts from my cousin asking if i'm coming with my mom.

Mama: Yalla elbsi bnro7 bet jdk

Me: Okay..

I got dressed, then we went to my grandfather's house.
It was fun.

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I know, very late post. I'm SORRY :(
Anyway, I hope you LOVE it!
Please please please please please some feedback???

xoxo, Alia.

Ask and Twitter : AAliaxo
KIK: storyxo

Fearless: Ch. 10

I am so so so SO sorry! Yes, I am very bad at writing on time but I will try my best to do so.
And by the way, I would never just stop writing suddenly! I love writing, it's my hobby.
Anyway... I hope you guys enjoy it and think it was worth the wait!
I love you guys, and again sorry for the late post :c

xoxo, Alia!

p.s. some feedback on my ask would be amazing :c? *cough* ask.fm/aaliaxo *cough*
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We went back to class, and well the day ended with nothing new.

G H A I D A ' S  P . O . V

March 5th, 2012.

So today I decided to tell Hayfa since it's official, i'm going to the united states.

Me: Mama 5la9 aked y3ni bl 9eef ra7 nro7 america 5la9??
Mama: Eee 7bebty, enshalla akeed,
Me: y3ni agol le Hayfa?
Mama: Ewa lazm tgolen lha..
Me: Ya rbeeh uf
Mama: ws3y 9drk, ra7 tnbs6een hnak enshalla!
Me: Bs aby my friends!
Mama: Hnak fee ktheer nas s3odyeen, you'll be fine!!
Me: Enshalla...

~

I was really sad, I was excited to live overseas, but then I'm gonna miss everything here! I'm gonna miss my friends, family, everyone! And also I'm gonna miss the little things here...
I should really cheer up, but I have no idea how I should tell Hayfa!
Oh hey i'm gonna live in america for maybe three years, you know no big deal!
This sucks!

~

I went to school, then I saw Hayfa. She smiled then walked over to me.

Hayfa: Hallaaa wallaa 
Me: Halla bl zeeeen
She was in a good mood, I shouldn't ruin it.
Me: sh3ndna mrwgeen?
Hayfa: Abd wallaaa, yom al arb3a w weekend w k4a!
Me: Lazm nro7 mkan ya5y zhg mnb mn6ga bl beet!
Hayfa: Alyoom ma agdr bntjm3 3nd 5wally w 7alla!
Me: yooh ajl bro7 3nd Reema wla shy.

~

We went to class, and well we had class.
My english teacher forgot some stuff in her office, so she sent me to get them. 
On my way there, I saw Hadeel, I casually smiled and she smiled back. 
Then she stopped in front of me wanting to talk, what does she want!

Hadeel: Enty Ghaida 9a7?
Me: (I smiled tsleekyan) Ewa ana Ghaida!
Hadeel: Oh ana Hadeel! Bs daym ashufk w Rana daym t7ky le 3nk!
Oh so your not dating my cousin lol yeah right.
Me: Ahaaa ya zeenha, shufy ana mrsoola fa lazm aroo7, ashufk b3deen enshalla?
I smiled so she doesn't think I'm lying, honestly the teacher doesn't really care, but the convo was getting a bit awkward!
Hadeel: Oh asfa! Yalla bye.
She walked away, and I continued walking toward the teacher's office, I went it, got the stuff, then went back to class.

~

Break time

I HAVE to tell Hayfa and Renad... Reema already knows because well, she's family, literally. This is something I can't help, and isn't in my control, Hayfa and Renad are really understanding... I mean they will be happy for me! And I have to be positive because in life we live for the good, and I can make this into a good thing. People DREAM of living overseas, and I'm sad? I shouldn't be sad, I will have to make the best of this situation.

Hayfa and Renad were sitting in our table, and I walked to them with my food. I sat, they were talking about a girl or something I don't know.

Me: Hii shbaab
shit I am acting awkward.

Hayfa: Hey shabat
Renad: Okaaayyyy

I started acting weird, and they're starting to notice.

Hayfa: Shfeek?
Me: Haw ma feni shy
Renad: Wsh 3ndk?
Me: Ma 3ndi shy!

Ugh I have to tell them

Hayfa: Yalla spill it, wsh 3ndk!

Now I really have to tell them! They know somethings up.

Me: 3ndy 5br 5ays bs 7lo bs 5ays?
Hayfa and Renad: Wshu hw??
Me: Baba 9ar 3ndu sh3'la lazm ysweeha b America, w we all have to go...

Their faces changed 100%, I can see the mixed emotions in their eyes, they obviously don't know how to react.
But I understand. I didn't know how to react either.

Hayfa: hah?
Renad: omg.
Me: I know. Bs it's only 1 or 2 years, w ra7 njee bl ejazat wla entm tjoon, alzbda it's not that bad!
Hayfa: Bs ra7 nshtag lk!
Me: Please don't cry.
Renad: 6yb mta btro7on?
Me: Bl 9eef bnro7..
Hayfa: Bs noo!!!!!

I can see the tears filling their eyes. ugh no!!!

Me: La t97oon , 5la9 ha4a shy by9eer enshalla, w bs sana wla snteen bl ktheer, fa enshalla btkono b5eer, w fe Skype, w fe 6yarat, w fe BBM, w fe mlyon alf zg, I know i'm being a bitch right now, bs please imagine how I felt.

I didn't want to cry, but my voice started to crack, I WILL not be crying.

Hayfa: 5la9 we'll be fine, can we please change the subject?
Renad: Yalla it's only one year, it's fine, some people leave for 8 years!

Well this went better than I expected!

Me: Yes, thank you! please stay this positive.
Them: n7awl.

We started laughing for no reason.
Everyone tried to change the subject.
It's not a big deal.
Right?

H A Y F A ' S P . O . V

But? No? Why? She's my best friend she can't leave me! Yes, I have Renad, but Ghaida's closer.
Hayfa shut up and be positive, I should be happy for her, she should have fun! 
Yes, I am extremely sad, but as a good friend I should support her, and also she might be struggling a lot.

I went to buy a water bottle, and then, there she was; Hadeel.
Great, just great let's make things even more awkward.
She stared at me like she wanted to talk to me, smiling? 
I smiled back to be polite, then she came closer.
Shit, she wants to talk.

Hadeel: Um enty Hayfa 9a7?

Oh pretend like you don't know me bitch.
Two can play this game.

Me: Ewa, w enty?
Hadeel: Hadeel, Rana galt le 3nk!
I smiled, LIES. 
Me: Aha ya zenha hhhh
Hadeel: w ee 9a7,

She came closer to and whispered something in my ear that just made my freeze in place.

WHAT DOES SHE WANT!

Fearless: Ch. 9

Hi! I hope you enjoy this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it!

If you have any comments or suggestions for the next chapters I'm more than happy to read them!

And thank you for the amazing feedback <3

xoxo, Alia.

Ask/Twitter : AAliaxo
KIK: Storyxo
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I went to the bathroom (allah ykrmkm), and then went into one of the stalls to check my phone. Then I heard two girls going in.

Girl #1 : Omg lazm awreek aish gal
Girl #2: Yalla wreniiiiiii
Girl #1: Gal Hadoolty a7bk w mn zman 7abk ....

~

I just stopped hearing after that, and before I knew it I had a tear running down my face.

WHAT? Hadeel? H a d e e l? w mn zman 7abk b3d? y3ni akeed Majid? 

e4a mara t7bu w mdre aish mara7 t9eer twry 9a7batha aish galha wld thani 3'eru 9a7? Y3ni hy egalha 5aga 3leeh, akeed y7boon b39'! 

Why am I acting like this? Why am I tearing! 

I shouldn't care, because WE ARE FRIENDS, and you know what? It was my fault, and this is a good thing because I never wanted things to get to a boyfriend/girlfriend level, I just wanted a best friend that cares about me all the time, and if he could be that and be with Hadeel at the same time then FINE! 

It's for the best anyway!

Hadeel: Y5ty Rana hal ensan cuteness overload!

So the girl she's talking to is Rana? I didn't know they were good friends !

Rana: La y9eer 7beb al7ub k4ab bs!

Hadeel: Majid mara7 yk4b, b3deen e5tu akbr mnna b sana esmha Reema

Rana : Ee ha4i Ghaida's cousin

And how is that gonna help you?!?!!??!?!!?! I am getting frustrated !

Hadeel: Shftha hya w Renad b centeria gbl km yoom, kan wdy aslm bs 7set maly da3i

Rana: Taraha 6yba

Hadeel: Adri bs abe atgrb lha hy w 9a7batha

Rana: w leeh?

What does this bitch want now! Ughhhhhh

Hadeel: N9l7 al3alagat, w 3shan br9'u tgwy 3lagty m3 Majid!

Someone walked in then they quickly changed the subject and went out to their class.

I made sure they went out, so I if they saw me they'd know that I heard all that shit, and then they'll try to cover up for themselves.

How can people be this two-faced? This SICKENS ME!

I went as fast as I could back to class hoping i'm not too late.

You might think I'm over-reacting, shedding a tear over a guy that only sees me as a friend, and only a friend. He is a very good friend, one of the best actually, but what made me shed that tear was jealousy. It wasn't cause he didn't tell me, which I completely understand, but girls get jealous, and I was BURNING with jealousy. All these thoughts came into my head! Am I not pretty enough? Skinny enough? Cute enough? Nice enough? SEXY ENOUGH? Good enough? Yes may not be the answer to all, but these questions entering my mind was wrong.

I might get a bit off track here, but whatever.
You may not be the prettiest, the smartest, the tallest, the sexiest, the skinniest! But most importantly YOU ARE YOUR SELF! Yes, you, the reader! Most of the girls our age seem to forget that life is short, people make mistakes, people ARE NOT perfect! Even some of the greatest people do wrong in their life, and that's what makes it life, the mistakes! If you didn't do one mistake in your life, then you wouldn't have learned anything!

You shouldn't feel like that girl is prettier than you, or smarter, or skinnier, because if everyone was as pretty, smart, and skinny as she, maybe a less prettier maybe more taller girl is gonna be considered more beautiful, because she is not a copy of everyone ells ! I hope you understood what I mean!

You should be different, because that what makes you, YOU!

Anyway, back to the story.

I went back to class, the teacher asked me why I was late, I just lied and told her they were cleaning and I had to wait.

Later on in lunch, I told Ghaida and Renad what I heard in the bathroom.

Me: b3deen ja a7d w 3'yru alsalfa w 6l3u..
Ghaida: Y3ni wsh g9dha abe a9l7 al3lagat?
Renad: y3ni nb3d 3nha
Me: MA ADRY 
Ghaida: La mn jd wsh tbe 4y
Me: A3lm Majid wla maly da3y a5rb benhm?
Renad: Mdre a7s wraha bala
Ghaida: Bs lsa ma t5rben ben a7d w 7bebtu
Me: A9ln mb akeed hm m3 b39' 
I said and my voice cracked, it was obvious I was holding in a tear.
Yes, i'm a VERY emotional girl
Renad: Hayfa 7bebe, it's okay
Ghaida: 5la9 nroo7 Dubai w nws3 9drk tshufen muzaz
Me: bs abe Majid
Ghaida: wsh tben feeh 5ays ma gd shfteeh w hw twu gaym mn alnoom
Me: but he's perffff
Ghaida: agol bs i'm gonna throw up
Renad: 7ram she likes him
Me: A lot.
Renad: Ma 3leek your good friends with him it's gonna be okay
Me: I guess.

We went back to class, and well the day ended with nothing new.

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